Another day

There are days when I feel like there is more wrong with me than there is right. What I mean is, I sometimes feel like I'm drowning under all of my inadequacies and that I will never overcome them. Ever. It gets to be pretty overwhelming at times, thinking about all the changes I need to make in my life. But then, do I really? Do I need to make those changes? I guess it depends on what they are.

My finances. It's not about having more to have more, but being responsible with what God has given me. Being a good steward of those resources. I feel like, for the most part, I have sort of grasped the concept when it comes to how I give of my time and talents, but I have yet to transfer that to the concept of money. It's a work in progress.

Procrastination. My, that's a big one. And a lot of it, I've realized, comes down to me not wanting to deal with certain situations and so I do the ostrich-thing, hoping that somehow the situation will just take care of itself. Which it never does and I'm left in a bigger mess than what I started in. It's this whole being an adult thing that has me so often feeling overwhelmed and like that meme that says something along the lines of, "I quit being an adult. If you want me, I'll be hiding in my blanket fort. Coloring." Yep, pretty much. Where was that class in high school? How to Be an Adult 101.  But anyway, is it something I need to change? Probably. Because it hinders so many things, but I'm not sure if there are any verses in the Bible that talk about procrastination.

My walk with God. I think this should be changing and growing all the time; it should never become stagnant. And I mean that for all of God's children, not just me. But I should be continually pursuing Him, just as He pursues me. He should be the first thing on my mind when I wake in the morning and the last thing I think about before going to sleep. But more often than not, He isn't. My thoughts turn to so many other things throughout the day that if I were to take stock of what I thought about on a given day, I can't honestly say that He even enters my thoughts until that moment. This is where I think I need a class on Taking Your Thoughts Captive for Beginners.

It feels like so much to do, trying to change my way of thinking in these areas. Changing who I am and who I have been for so long. And then I remember. I don't have to do any of this alone. I can give it all to God. I can find rest for my soul. It's okay to have bad days and to slip up; my salvation and my standing before the Lord is not dependent on me mastering these things. He gives me grace, why shouldn't I allow it for myself? I do not have to change overnight; nor do I have to do it alone.

And that thought helps me make it through another day.