The cost of discipleship. What is it? When it all comes down to it, doesn't Jesus ask for my life? Hasn't that been the theme of the last several months (ok, my entire Christian life)? He's asking me for my all. All of my time, all of my worries, all that I have and all that I am. Who is living my life? Who has the control here? Because as much as I want to say He is, I know that's a lie. I want to give it all to God, I really do, but I lack the faith to follow through.
God, give me strength! I want my life to look different. I want Jesus to be my All in all. I don't want to live to impress the world, but I want to live in a way that is pleasing to my God and Father in Heaven. I want to live with my eyes fixed on eternity. I want YOU to be in my heart, on my mind and on my lips always. I pray that I would be Your hands and Your feet; a light to the world that is always shining. I must decrease; He must increase.
God help me to get out of the way of what You want to do! Help me to die to myself, to my flesh, to my desires. Show me how to grab hold of the dreams You have for me. Place me in the center of Your will.
Fill me with Your love, Your grace and Your mercy. Mold me, refine me, break me, Father. Strip it all away so that all I have left is You. Show me the changes you want me to make and help me make them. Help me rely on You for the things I can't do on my own. Hold my hand and walk with me. Help me to trust that You will carry me through the difficult times and to know that even in the darkest moments of my life, I will never walk alone. Help me to lay down my life at Your feet and to take up my cross every day. Help me to choose You for my today, every day. Help me to know You and love You more and more each day.
Give me a heart for the lost. Break my heart for the ones who don't know You; the ones who need a Savior.
Help me open my mouth and speak a word of Truth to someone who needs to hear it.
Given me the capacity to love more, to give more, to serve more.
Be my Everything.
Be my Joy in times of pain.
Be my Peace when I am tempted to worry.
Be my Teacher and my Guide when I have lost my way.
Be the Song in my heart.
Be the Reason I live.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Waiting
Waiting on God is something I feel like I've been doing a lot of lately. Or maybe it's more waiting for God. Just waiting for something to happen in my life. Waiting for something better to come along on the job front or just waiting for my job to improve. Waiting for a spouse. Waiting for West Town Sunday to see some growth. Waiting to see where my life is going. Honestly, I'm tired of waiting.
I don't need to see the whole path, but right now I can't seem to see much beyond the next week, let alone the next 5 years. I try to cling to God's Word and His promises. I know, intellectually, that He hasn't forgotten me or just left me here, but my head can't seem to communicate that knowledge to my heart.
Wait for the LORD; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:13-14
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 (HCSB)
I know I need to just trust that God has my best interests at heart. I want to trust that He does. I know that He is good and He is in control, yet I find it incredibly difficult to relinquish that control completely to Him and surrender everything I am and have so that He can have it all. We used to sing this song at Alive way back in the day. Maybe I need to listen to it again:
All For Jesus, Robin Mark
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have,
and ever hope to be
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have,
and ever hope to be
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these
Into Your hands
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these
Into Your hands
For it's only in Your will
That I am free
For it's only in Your will
That I am free
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have
And ever hope to be
I don't need to see the whole path, but right now I can't seem to see much beyond the next week, let alone the next 5 years. I try to cling to God's Word and His promises. I know, intellectually, that He hasn't forgotten me or just left me here, but my head can't seem to communicate that knowledge to my heart.
Wait for the LORD; be courageous and let your heart be strong. Wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:13-14
Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the LORD will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 (HCSB)
I know I need to just trust that God has my best interests at heart. I want to trust that He does. I know that He is good and He is in control, yet I find it incredibly difficult to relinquish that control completely to Him and surrender everything I am and have so that He can have it all. We used to sing this song at Alive way back in the day. Maybe I need to listen to it again:
All For Jesus, Robin Mark
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have,
and ever hope to be
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have,
and ever hope to be
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these
Into Your hands
All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these
Into Your hands
For it's only in Your will
That I am free
For it's only in Your will
That I am free
Jesus, all for Jesus
All I am and have
And ever hope to be
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