Respect

This is something I've been thinking about quite a bit recently. What is respect? How do you get it? How do you show it? Is respect something that you earn or something you learn to expect?

Websters Online Dictionary defines respect this way:

v. t.

1.

To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed.

                                       or

n.

1.

The act of noticing with attention; the giving particular consideration to; hence, care; caution. I've been talking about respect with the kids at work a little bit and the best definition I've been able to give them so they'll understand it is simply listening to each other. Respect is a lot more than that I realize; however, when you boil it down isn't that where respect begins? If I don't listen to someone then I am not taking notice of them, neither am I regarding them with special attention or as someone who worthy of special consideration. Showing respect to someone is essentially telling them that I have placed my wants and needs beneath theirs. In 3 year old terms, if 2 of my kids want the same toy and "Jill" had the toy before "Mikey", then the respectful thing for Mikey to do is to 1. ask politely if he can have a turn and 2. wait patiently until he gets what he wants. Of course, at the age of 3, everything must happen immediately! A 3 year old can only understand instant gratification and so Mikey wants the toy now and will do everything in his power to get it. What amazes me though is how many times in a day I have the following converstation:   "Tiffy, she won't share with me." "Did you use your words and ask nicely?" "No." "Go ask then." As soon as the offended child uses his/her "nice words" (please can I have that when you're done?), the child who has the toy is suddenly very agreeable to the idea of sharing! The method isn't full-proof of course, but the majority of the time, it works quite well. So even at a very young age, we all desire to be treated with respect. We want people to listen to us and to treat us in a way that makes us feel important. So then, how does one get respect? I was always taught growing up that when it came to adults, you were to show respect no matter what. There was no back-talk like you hear from so many children today; you never mouthed off to Mom and Dad because it just wasn't acceptable. There were consequences for those actions. I never questioned it, but I'm sure there are many young people who have asked the question, "why? Why should I respect my elders? They haven't done anything to earn my respect." Exodus 20:12 says “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you." There is blessing from the Lord when we choose to respect and honor our parents. I fully believe this includes our "elders" as well. In the case of people who are older than us, I believe that respect is something that should be given. And just because I don't agree with somebody's views, I can still show them respect by not judging them or their beliefs. Respect does not equal agreement. "A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone." Billy Graham Oh, how true! The kids in my class show me respect by listening to me and doing what I ask them to do. Simple as that. When a child is disrespectful towards me, or any other adult, that is when the hairs on the back of my neck stand up (probably not literally; I've never looked ;-)). But why? Is it because of the way I was raised? I think that, in looking at the behaviors of some of the kids I work with, I see more and more a lack of respect from kids towards their parents and other adults in their lives. Many, not all, parents constantly give in to their kid's demands, especially when the child is being "whiny" or temperamental, just so they will stop and be quiet. What is this teaching them? If I whine and cry, I can get my way? Is that what we want our kids to learn today? How to manipulate people? Because I honestly think that's what we're doing every time we give in to a child's demands. Whatever happened to "please"? Or "thank you"? Respect is quickly becoming a thing of the past and that deeply saddens me. If we are looking at the children of today as the leaders of tomorrow, isn't it our job to teach them how to be respectful so that they grow to be men and women who have strength of character?

Reflections from Faithwalkers part 3

It's been a long-time coming, I know. Life tends to get away from me and I forget to post. Praise God that our lives are not dependent on whether or not I keep up with this blog!!

The next main session was given by Mark Darling in which he tagged on to Tim's earlier talk about the Cost of Discipleship. Mark opened with a WWII movie (couldn't tell you for the life of me what it was) and in it was this quote: "Consider yourself already dead." As a disciple of Christ, the only way that we can truly live for Him is to die for Him. Mark defines the cost of discipleship as this: "dying once, though painful, isn't as difficult as dying a thousand times everyday for the rest of your life." God wants to work a death in our lives every day.

Luke 14:27-33
And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
   ²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, ³⁰ saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’
   ³¹ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand?³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

Jesus tells us that we should not even begin to follow him until we have counted the cost; until we have examined what we will have to give up and then have decided if we can make the sacrifices necessary. Are we willing to give everything up to Him?

The great struggle is putting to death the deeds of the flesh. 
Galatians 5:24 (NLT) Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed their passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.

Are we able to let go of the things we hold most dear? Especially the sin in our lives that has become so much a part of ourselves that we can't imagine life without it? I know that sounds strange; why would I want to hold onto something that's keeping me from truly knowing my God, but as fallen human beings we do so often have a hard time letting go of the things that aren't good for us.

God does not make things reasonable. Submission to the unreasonable and unfair things is the hard part. God will take you by the hand and lead you to places you don't want to go.


Don't be fooled, friends! Being a disciple of Christ is not easy. Really, it should be the hardest thing any of us should ever have to do. But, so long as we are in Christ, it does not have to be the most impossible thing we ever have to do!


It's better to know Him than to know what's coming.
Truthfully, if you knew before becoming a Christian all of the trials you would walk through; all of the difficult times, hard decisions, the things you would have to give up, would you have made the decision to follow Christ? I honestly don't know that I would have. I certainly haven't had the same degree of trials as some; worse than a few, far less difficult than others, but I am weak. If I had known then what I would be faced with, I don't know that I would have walked down this road. I am so thankful that I have had God at my side every step of the way, leading me through some of the darkest places I have ever known. I would much rather know my God than know what is ahead of me.


A few closing thoughts:


All of my gifts are meant to be used for God's purpose.
Did you ever think about that? Every gift you have; every ability, they were all given to you by God to be used for His glory!


And finally....discipleship comes down to day to day decisions that we make. Are we counting the cost every day? Giving Him our everything? If He is our All in All, then shouldn't we be giving Him our all?