God's plan...and a broken foot

How do these two things relate, you ask? I've been wondering the same thing myself over the last week (since I broke my foot a week ago today). It has been a goal of mine to not complain or gripe while having to wear this lovely boot, and I'd say that I've done fairly well at not voicing my opinions out loud, but internally...well, that's a whole other story.

Let me backtrack to my blog title here though. For much of my Christian walk I have become convinced that everything happens for a reason. Whether it's because the Lord wants to teach us something about ourselves, about Him, about the people around us, etc. This "philosophy" has helped me especially during hard times because it reminds me that there is a purpose to the madness in my life. So why a broken foot? What can I possibly learn from this?

By and large, it is in my nature to complain and look at the negative side of things and this experience is no exception. "This boot is heavy and cumbersome." "I stand crooked." "My good foot hurts more than the other one because it's bearing most of my weight." "I feel limited and slowed down, like it takes me twice as long to do anything." "I feel like a burden to others."

Aha! I think it's those last two that are really key. I feel limited. Aside from my diabetes, I have always been a physically healthy person. I may not be the most active person on the planet, but I've never had issues getting around places. I can often find ways to get into places most people can't because of the lack of physical limitation and a "can-do" attitude. Now I have to take stairs one at a time. I can't walk as fast as I'm accustomed. Everything is just too slow and that wears on my own patience, plus I feel like I slow everyone else down. Which leads to feeling like a burden. I know that this is a lie. I am not a burden to anyone. I think that because I am so accustomed to being self-sufficient and to serving others, it's difficult for me to let other people serve me. It's not that I don't appreciate it, because I do, more than I can express, but the idea of somebody else doing something that I could normally do is almost humiliating to me.

So how can I turn this into a positive experience? I have to live with the boot for potentially another 5 weeks even though I'm ready to be rid of it now and right now, that 5 weeks seems like an eternity to me. But I need to make the best of the situation.

1. Perhaps explore more reasons as to why it's hard for me to let others take care of me. Is there an issue of pride I need to deal with?
2. Don't get discouraged when I need to take things more slowly. Typically there is no reason to be in a huge hurry.
3. Be thankful that it is only 5 more weeks and not something that I will have to deal with for a lifetime.
4. Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Especially when I'm feeling extra-annoyed with the boot and want to complain about it even in my head.

Only 5 more weeks. Maybe I'll create one of those paper chain thingies and count down until the final day and have a party when I'm officially out of this thing. Which actually leads me to rather strange parallel. (I apologize for my rambling; evidently this is what happens when I don't blog very often) Bear with me here on the analogy; if it doesn't make sense to you that's ok, it makes sense to me. Getting the boot off will be like the return of Christ. Being confined or limited by the boot is much like trying to live the Christian life in this world. We are confined, we are limited by several things including sin. We long for our home in heaven; to be with our God forever. We can't wait to get there. Things would be so much easier if Jesus would just come back now and set up His Kingdom on earth. We want to be completely free. But there are things that have to be done here and now and God has created us for this time and this place for a purpose: to glorify Him and to make His Name known throughout the world. The boot, for me, represents the limitations I place on myself that keep me from doing the things that God wants me to do. And until I can cast it (the boot/sin) aside, I am never truly free. And as much as we all can depend on the Holy Spirit to set us free from sin, we will still battle with it until the return of Christ. And that is something we can truly celebrate!!

Mountaintop

It's amazing the things that happen in my head while I'm driving. Ok, amazing might not be exactly the right word there. Interesting, perhaps? Anyway, here's the thought/revelation of the day: it used to be, in the beginning of my walk with the Lord, that I could literally feel the presence of God with me. Perhaps it was because although I had been a "Christian" for 10 years prior, I had never sought God. Walking with God was a completely foreign concept to me and so once I had decided to submit myself to God, I knew without a doubt that He was with me.

It's been a long time since I've felt God's presence. I know, intellectually, that He is with me, that He will never leave me nor forsake me, yet I cannot physically sense Him. It occurred to me today that just because I can't feel His presence with me doesn't mean that He isn't there. Perhaps, as I've hopefully grown in my faith, it will require more faith to believe that He is with me until the end of the age. And maybe, just maybe, I need to be more active in inviting Him in to the everyday things. Making Him a part of the dull, daily activities of life. Experiencing God in the valley as well as on the mountaintop. Which brings me to the lyrics of one of my current favorite songs:

"Mountaintop" The City Harmonic

The valley low that's where we'll make our homes
But this I know that's what He saved us from
Cause we've seen the glory of our King
On the mountaintop

We've been to the mountaintop
We've seen the glory of our God
He is here in the valley low
He's here I feel it in my bones
Our God here and now
We are the body of our God

Oh I don't care what happens to me now
I know for sure that we've been changed somehow
And we'll be the glory of our King
In His kingdom come

We've been to the mountaintop
We've seen the glory of our God
He is here in the valley low
He's here I feel it in my bones
Our God here and now
We are the body of our God

We build our temples
We build our walls
But they can't hold Him in
We are the temple of our God
But we can't hold Him in

We've been to the mountaintop
We've seen the glory of our God
He is here in the valley low
He's here I feel it in my bones
Our God here and now
We are the body of our God

(Click Here to hear the song)